A good attempt
I teach Golding's novel in my frshman comp classes as a means of discussing style, tone, and metaphor. In all this piece is an excellent start to a possible worthy adaption, however, I find a few points to be lacking.
Stylistically, I find it somewhat disconcerting to see a more abstract figure form (sans anime) to the British academy boys. Granted, this is perhaps how you best know how to draw people, but it does not suit well to the nature of this project.
On a larger picture, the current theme is rather immature-- not in the more typical sense, but from an attempt to recreate a serious novel using under developed talents and understanding.
The island is pure coincidence, in re to Golding's imagination for how to figuratively isolate these children.
The reason why Golding chose military academy students was for the idea of discipline in an under developed mind. In today's standards, the piece would be subject to criticism for latent homosexual images. However, taking into consideration the time frame, their education, and nationality of the boys-- Golding was trying to give his audience a picture of a model child. These boys neither understand nor comprehend the majority of the adult world (i.e. sex) and so associate society with it's systems-- not the theories. As such, when they try to build a form of government without an understanding of the necessary diplomacy and nature of politics, it will surely fail.
As such the greater idea here is not boys trying to over come fear-- but two different kinds of minds: the primal instinct of man and the false "culture" he has created. In truth, the book is about what happens when you take away all the materialism and idealism of modern society: man is and always be a brutal animal. Thusly, the real lord of the flies is not some beat or flaw in the human psyche, but man's inherent nature. Or-- human nature is the beast within us all.
Please take the time to read Reynolds article "Golding and the human condition: man as the devil in Lord of the flies." You should be able to find it using your school library's computer, look in ebscohost or mla international.
Take your time on this project-- use it to define your individual style as a story teller and artist.